It has been exactly the same here until now so you are not alone. I've got about 35-55Mbps on my existing connection since moving here in 2015. At my old address it maxxed out at the full 76Mbps.
They initially also only ran fibre to the new build estates here too. It was getting silly because new houses in the middle of nowhere had it, but older houses that needed it far more were stuck on copoer. And I agree with house building. It is completely crap and I would never buy one. It's also mad the prices they command. Often a 1/3 more expensive than far larger 1930s house in the area, and hardly any garden or parking space, plus as you say, so close together you can hear your neighbour doing everything.
Chuchester got a full fibre uograde about 4 years ago and that's only 4 miles from me. Buy living in a far more rural area I want expecting fibre any time soon, so was really surprised when they started digging our road up to install it this time last year. But then no idea when we could order it after work was finished. So big surprise when I discovered I could now order it. There was nothing through the door or from BT. I had to discover it by accident. At least that way not many know about it yet in my road so I could book it.
But if you think your situation is bad, consider this. My parents in the New Forest only had their local exchange and cabinet upgraded to FTTC last year! So only recently got 30Mbps. Before this they were on ADSL at 2Mbps and couldn't even stream Netflix or Youtube.





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