The Random Joke Thread

[Puni/Void]

Hey, do you want to hear my construction joke?
I'll tell you later. I'm still working on it.

[Buleste]

How do you define an optimist?

An investment banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

* * *

What's the difference between investment bankers and London pigeons?

The pigeons are still capable of making deposits on a new BMWs.

* * *

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?

A large pizza can still feed a family of four.

[v85rawdeal]

Ephram Zimbalist Jnr says to his dad, Ephram Zimbalist Snr: "Dad, ain't you got no imagination?"

[Buleste]

Ephram Zimbalist Jnr says to his dad, Ephram Zimbalist Snr: "Dad, ain't you got no imagination?"

He was the spokesperson for the Shadows you know (and not the British guitar based band before you say anything).

Ed Begley Jnr says to his dad, Ed Begley Snr: "Dad, ain't you got no imagination?"

[Puni/Void]

Heard the one about the cannibal that was late for supper? He got "cold feet".

[Cortona]

You know that look that women get when they want sex? No, me neither...

[Puni/Void]

.. Not exactly a joke, but...

Owner of Perfect House Lives in Car

September 18, 2002 - Baltimore, USA

In fear of possibly disturbing the perfection that is his house, Donald Manison has been forced to live in his 1998 Dodge Caravan. I became obsessive, everything in the house was so photo-perfect that I was eventually scared of walking on the carpet in fear that I might disturb the direction of the carpet threads. Magazines wanting a glimpse and photos of the perfect house were limited to viewing through opened ground floor windows. When asked how long he will continue his present lifestyle he replied, If living in my mini-van is payment for a perfect house, I'm willing to pay.