The Random Joke Thread

[Buleste]

The day the P*nis Asked for a raise

I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labour.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response:

Dear P. Niss
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

[Puni/Void]

The search for intelligent life

Captain Kirk and an away team, searching for intelligent life on other planets, traveled down to Earth after going through a time disturbance cloud, landing in Washington D.C. right in the middle of Clinton's inaugural ball.

After looking around, Kirk says: "Beam us up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down on this one."

[Submeg]

The day the P*nis Asked for a raise

I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labour.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response:

Dear P. Niss
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

HAHA! That is classic!

[v85rawdeal]

Vista + 512mb = Hilarity!!!!

[Submeg]

I think that's called insanity?

[v85rawdeal]

Not if you're the spectator watching it!

[Submeg]

lol now I see your point....I also inspected your sig, interesting messages you have there...

[Puni/Void]

Hey, do you want to hear my construction joke?
I'll tell you later. I'm still working on it.