Off topic's off topic thread, VERSION 2!

[v85rawdeal]

Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."

[Buleste]

Throw out your hands.
Stick out your tush.
Hands on your hips, give 'em a push.
You'll be surprised
you're doing the French mistake.
Voila.

[v85rawdeal]

What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural wonder, one of a kind... actually two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamppost.

[Buleste]

What are we made of? Our fathers came across the prairies... fought Indians... fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix... remember when Richard Dix tried to take over this town? Well we didn't give up then... and by gum, we're not gonna give up now!

[v85rawdeal]

Are you happy? Are you satisfied now? I mean, that's the way it works, isn't it? You set us up. You take someone like him, you give him hope, just so you can take it away again? What did he ever do to you? What did any of us ever do to you? What did the whole *****ing world do to you, that we deserve all of this? I mean, come on, the locusts and the death of the first-born wasn't good enough for you anymore so now it's the death of the eldest? The death of heroes? You know what? ***** you. Because we're not just gonna lay down and die down here. You want to finish off the job? Come down here! Do it yourself. You send the Angel of Death, you better give him one hell of a big sword, because I tell you what, we are gonna kick his ass all the way back to the great white *****ing throne. And then we're coming for you. We're coming for you.

[Buleste]

Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.

[v85rawdeal]

You keep leaving me. I hate it when you leave me. One time you died and I ended up a Mexican.