Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of Tolkien, and have been ever since I read The Hobbit at about the age of 12. I was hooked on his work from that point onwards. But some of the characters are still annoying.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of Tolkien, and have been ever since I read The Hobbit at about the age of 12. I was hooked on his work from that point onwards. But some of the characters are still annoying.
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That's bullshit, though. I'd be mackin' hos and bitch-slapping suckers and punks all day and making it look good. Then I'd destroy the ring in the fire and urinate on the lava flow but only after smack talking that gay eye in the tower and making some prank telephone calls to that chump in the wizards tower - and maybe stopping off for fried chicken because everyone knows that KFC is the FOOD OF CHAMPIONS.
Why fight temptation?
The ring was just a tool after all.
You don't buy a new hammer and then burn it just in case you hit your fingers with it.
Concentrate on the job in hand, have a plan.
Use the ring and kick Sauron and his boys out of his castle .
Have the Black Riders doing pizza delivery.
Have Saruman and Gandalf as childrens entertainers.
Enslave the elves and use them to gamble on instead of horses as they are very good at running away.
Get the dwarves mining for gold, precious stones and making jewelry.
Get the hobbits cooking and brewing ale.
Then it's party time for you and the rest of the human race.
Job done.
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If I was making the LotR films, I would've made it more modern. Instead of the plains of middle earth I'd have it set on a large ocean. And a ring as a wepon of destruction? Try nuclear warheads.
And the rubbish fellowship would instead be replaced by a stripper, a semi-retired engineer, a laundry man and a disgraced special-ops martial arts master turned chef. And the baddies would be man wearing an all black ensemble and chief O'Brien.
And I'd call it Under Siege.
Awesome.