Things we've learned from RPG games

[Harrison]

The world is always about to end while you are still a youth, but you still have time to grow up, learn how to fight, all the skills you need in combat, master the art of magic, and assemble a highly skilled group of people in order to actually prevent the end of the world from happening.

[Ghost]

So I guess in RPGs we should have the following for a change;

The player actually had a happy childhood with supporting parents who wave him or her off as he/she leaves for adventure.

There is actually no prophecy about a future hero who will save the kingdom, making your appearance a bit of a surprise.

Impenetrable prisons really are impenetrable and no earth quake or demon invasion will make a change in that status.
Instead we need to add a new factor to such a situation; a lawyer.

When captured your equipment is inconviniently stored in a room deep in the prison/castle.

Guards always patrol in pairs and carry spears instead of short swords.

Villages with monsters just outside the walls quickly end up as ghost towns.

The police is actually effective and doesn't just kill people designated 'criminal' just because they stole a bread.

The bad guy isn't just another evil that has been defeated thousands of years ago by a bunch of heroes only to reappear now. He/she/it is a brand new evil not described before.

The bad guy actually came to power in a fair election opposite to taking the throne of the rightful ruler.

The bad guy actually goes after you him/her/itself instead of sending incompetent henchmen after you.

Not everything you find in a treasure chest is actually useful or still in a useful condition, healing potions could have lost their healing power or have become bad, likewise armour or weapons could have rusted away.
Also, if it is needed to defeat the enemy monster up ahead, it probably keeps these weapons on its person.

The hero's female companion (or heroine if the player is female) isn't a beautiful big busted scantly dressed wench but a rather common female person.

The hero can't actually use the first weapon he or she finds, he or she actually has to pay a weapons master to train him or her.

A night's rest doesn't heal all wounds/restores life energy.

[Submeg]

Impenetrable prisons really are impenetrable and no earth quake or demon invasion will make a change in that status.
Instead we need to add a new factor to such a situation; a lawyer.

Gold, pure gold

[Tiago]

When you drive a car:
- there is no pedrestrians trying to cross the road outside pedestrian crossing zones
- The car never has a mal function unless you drive into a wall
- you will never have a flat tire
- you never look the car (same problem in cinema) did you ever see an actor looking the car? They always get out of it, close the door, most of the times, with window open and they go away....

[Harrison]

Talking of transport, most in RPGs never has or runs out of a fuel source!

@Ghost:
You did forget one thing. Most RPGs are set in a feudal society living the dark ages of their evolution. That makes everything believable and nothing far fetched!

[J T]

Your team can kill a monster the size of an island, but will offer no resistance when a single guard apprehends you during a stealthy-sneak escape from a situation of some peril.

[Ghost]

@Ghost:
You did forget one thing. Most RPGs are set in a feudal society living the dark ages of their evolution. That makes everything believable and nothing far fetched!

I get the feeling you're a little pissed I made fun of RPGs

[Harrison]

No. You need to grasp English Sarcasm mate.

[Ghost]

Oh wait, now I get it.

Heh, because people didn't know better then they treat it as plausable now.

[Harrison]

Yep.