View Full Version : Heightened Threat Levels in Europe

12th August 2007, 00:38
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose" .

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

(this had me LOLing. Apologies if anyone considers it xenophobic)

12th August 2007, 01:45
Nice. A re jig of an old favourite. Still as funny as ever.

I also like the language one explaining the changes to the English language, and as you conclude reading it you sound very much like another nation. I will see if I still have that somewhere.

12th August 2007, 13:31
Have copied an emailed it to a few mates.
I will of course, be passing this off as my own work.

13th August 2007, 00:15
Sorry that's plagiarism. I have already done that :D

Demon Cleaner
13th August 2007, 13:26
Security levels are nice :lol:

15th August 2007, 14:35
Seen it before, but it always brings a smile to my face. Thanks for posting it up.